Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Mommy failure

Ashlyn and the kitty take some time to watch the grass grow.

It finally happened. I failed my girl for the first time in the great world of making friends. I'm not sure how or why I let it happen the way it did. Guess I was lost in a world of other thoughts with so many things going on with my family.

Ashlyn and I (along with her Papa and Nana) went to a playground at a local elementary school. Ashlyn always has a blast on the slides, swing, climby things...pretty much everything about the playground is her "favorite" thing. There aren't a lot of kids that go there to play, but every once in a while she'll find some one willing to play with her besides me and my family. However, this time, I failed as a mom.

She was playing happily with Nana when a little girl (about 7 or 8) showed up with her family. Ashlyn was so excited to have a "friend" to play with. She rushed up to the girl and said, "Hi, do you want to play with me?" in the happiest friendliest voice ever. The little girl just stared at her. I said, "Well, tell her your name honey." And she did. The little girl didn't speak. Just stared at her. Her dad said, "Tell her your name too." She simply said, "Abby." Ashlyn said, "Hi Abby, do you want to play with me?" Abby just stared for a moment and then got down off the monkey bars and ran away to play something else. I was shocked. Neither her nor her dad really said much of anything.

Why didn't I step in at that point? Why didn't I say, "She was born this way, and there's nothing wrong with her and she'd love to play with you."? I have no clue. I guess because I wasn't really sure if was an "arm" thing, and age thing or just the fact that the other little girl was shy...which Ashlyn is so NOT. So I let it go. But I wasn't happy. The little girl came back a few minutes later and Ashlyn attempted the friendliness again, yet still no response from the little girl. She just wouldn't speak to her. Finally I just said it was time to go and we headed home. Ashlyn didn't think twice about it, I don't think. But I've been frustrated ever since. Not only that the little girl didn't talk to Ashlyn at all, but that I didn't do more to encourage it. Time for me to get my "game plan" together so that I can encourage other kids to actuallly play with my precious princess rather than act like she doesn't even exist. *sigh* Yep, it was a mommy failure for sure.


Nikki said...


You are NOT a failure. I think that because it was your first experience that you were at a lack of words. You probably just needed this experience, and it is a GIFT for you to plan ahead for next time. God knows what to give you in preparation for the future, and in this case, He gave you this moment to remind you to be prepared for future meetings with other "Abby"s.

So happy that you had this moment of reflection, and that your little princess had no adverse reactions to this moment in time herself. You continue to be a perfect mother who has learned the only way parents do learn--by experience.

I feel sad for Abby and her dad because they are obviously missing out on a most exceptional little gal named Ashlyn and her amazing mommy who I LOVE to call my friend.

Love you!

Trisha (Ashlyn's Adoring Mommy) said...

Ahhh, thanks Nikki. I suppose you are right and I did learn from this, but still feels like I failed her. She's just such a friendly girl, and normally kids just take to her right away, sometimes asking what happened to her arm...sometimes they don't even realize it until they've been playing for a while. It was just an speed bump I guess. :)

Abby and her dad did miss out on seeing what an incredible girl she is though. Too bad for them. :)

We love you!!!!